Gretchen’s Memorial
Written by Gretchen’s sister, Margaret.
Gretchen Victoria Kiehl, of Stoughton WI, was called home to heaven on Sunday, January 1, 2023. She was 35 years old. Although her friends and family are deeply saddened by her unexpected death, we take comfort in knowing she is past all suffering and is enveloped in the light and love of eternal life.
When parents Russell and Suzanne Kiehl first embraced Gretchen on March 16, 1987, they were welcoming an extremely special person into this world. Gretchen was born in Minneapolis, MN, but grew up on Grand Island, NY. Grand Island is a small town that feels like a big family, and Gretchen was certainly one of its favorite family members. She broke the hearts of the boys and made lifelong friends with the girls. The schools, churches, and swim teams that were lucky enough to have her will certainly remember her quick intelligence, her talent for leadership, her enthusiasm for community, and her lively sense of humor.
After graduating Grand Island High School in 2005, Gretchen carried on a family tradition by pursuing a career in nursing. She earned a BS in Nursing in 2009 and a Doctor of Nursing Practice in 2012 from SUNY-Buffalo. Over the next ten years, she cared for many in New York and Wisconsin through positions in cardiology, neurology, and palliative care. Nursing demands unflinching bravery and bottomless compassion. Gretchen possessed both. She always treated her patients with dignity and love, and she gave many a sense of hope as she worked to restore their health.
Gretchen gave her whole heart to nursing, but she gave her whole soul to her family and friends. Her generosity of spirit was unmatched. Who amongst us doesn’t have memories of her warmth and vulnerability? She made us all feel so special in her company. She was hilarious and irreverent, but also intuitive and profound. When she sat next to you at the table, you had the best seat in the room. No matter how many times you read this in other memorials, absolutely no one ever brightened up a room like Gretchen.
Gretchen had a great thirst for life. She loved big events like parties, concerts, festivals, and travel. She also embraced intimate meetings at coffee shop tables and on living room couches. Whether she was dancing at a wedding or discussing a book, she lived fully in every moment. Where many of us would be exhausted, she was energized; where many of us would be distressed, she was all joy.
And, speaking of joy, her greatest and best came from her beloved five-year -old son, Levi. She met and overcame the many challenges of single motherhood to raise a happy and healthy little boy. He was always foremost in her mind and heart, and he will grow up with nothing but beautiful memories of his beautiful mommy. She was so proud of him, and he will always be so very proud of her. Levi will be adopted into the Szczykutowicz family, comprised of her adoring sister, Margaret, Margaret’s husband Tim, and children Luke and Esther. He will also be watched over by his incredible grandparents Russell and Suzanne, his adopted extended family of grand- parents Peter and Jeanne Szczykutowicz, aunt and uncle Stefanie and Ryan Lombardo, and cousins Matthew and Annika, as well as the loving aunts, uncles, and cousins that survive Gretchen.
Gretchen wouldn’t want you to think her life was perfect. She fought, des- perately at times, against depression and alcoholism. It was never an easy battle. She would stumble and fall in the same place, over and over again. By clinging to her faith in God and her relationships in the Lakeview Church community, and by leaning on her endlessly supportive parents, she kept getting back up. Her courage and her strength in the face of such monstrous diseases should serve as an inspiration to us all.
Darkness does not have final victory over Gretchen. Her light, breathed into her by her loving creator, shines through the darkness, and the darkness does not understand its brilliant power. Even as we mourn this heartbreaking loss, we can join Gretchen in praising God for his inscrutable plan that makes all things work together for good. We can look forward to seeing our wonderful friend, sister, daughter, and mother soon. She’ll be waiting for us, as she always did, with open arms.